Hobbits Rock

I have this wee friend
Wee being the operative word
He's on the shorter side of tall
But no less of a man
He packs a lot of punch into his small stature
He's amazingly clever with a quick wit
He's inquisitive and engaging

Out one night together
My friend returns from the men's room
Reserved for all men of all sizes
He's all feisty and hot
Obviously disturbed by something

What's up with you? I ask
He's like
See that guy over there
Yeah You Buddy
I glance back over my shoulder at the big brute of a boy in the football jersey

He reports:
While relieving himself of the nights Pops he overhears....
(Hey those ears aren't just for decoration you know)
............"Hobbit"
The ears prick up
Wha?
Turning toward the sound
He confronts his accuser
"You Just Call Me A Hobbit!!!?"
......no response
Fag
He rebuts

I'm proud of my friend
(Well, he shouldn't have used the "F" word)
He stands up for himself
Stands tall in my eyes
That night as we travel home on the streetcar
Two drunken friends....Ok, One Drunk....the other on Pop

I tell him:

"You know, (hic) I have this Irish friend, Eddy, (hic) and he's reeeeeally cute (pause while reviewing image of Ed in head..oh yeah!!!) and when I saw Lord of the Rings (insert charming belch here) I thought one of those Hobbits looked like Eddy and remember I said you reminded me of someone, well it's Eddie....so maybe at the end of the day you do resemble a Hobbit...
but Hobbits are ADORABLE dude!!"

He was strangely Ok with that.