My Cycle's All Off

I’m having a relationship problem.
You can tell from my blog.
If you can put two and two together you can see a pattern.
An on and off and on and off pattern.
Judging from his calculated calculations we’re off now.
But there was a blip and we were on for a few hours.
I hope we can be on for just a little bit in the summer because I can’t bbq very well.
Then its ok to be off cause my friends do lots of stuff then.
On, when my deck’s getting built….I need him to sit on it once.
I don’t know why.

Bootycall 101

Is it a booty call if it was planned that they can drop over later when they’re done with previously arranged obligations.
He comes by after midnight and brings takeaway for us both to eat
on the coffee table, upbeat music on the stereo.....lamps on.
Then some chitchat while he lays comfortably across the chesterfield holding my hand while I sit cross-legged on the floor smoking up the fireplace.
His socks are on the rug.
It’s getting late and he’s kinda tired so suggests we go upstairs and chill on the other couch and watch TV. Sounds good, invitation to spoon.
I get all squished and my push up bra is digging in…....my “low rise”(?) jeans that fall down easy are really uncomfy when you lie down. He’s snoring now. Off I go to just change and forget the fashion statement. That’s better.
We relocate to my bed.
He steals my side…and that really bugs me....I don’t know that other area of the room well.
So we go to bed and spoon, he’s snoring again and his arm jerks wildly sometimes - giving me whiplash. Oh well, I like him so I find it endearing in some weird way.
In the morning…he asks what time he should go…should he go now 7ish and go back to bed at home or should we sleep more…we decide he should pretty much go now…it was a booty call remember...I think you’re supposed to go when its dark and we failed to do that.
He looks for an orange on the way out and checks the fridge for a juice box. He has a long trek up to the subway.
Oh and your probably wondering if there actually was any sex. Right?
“I did not have sexual relations with that man”
I think we’re doing something wrong.

Dead man walking...

right towards me,
my not dead really not so special special friend
I wasn’t prepared for that
off guard, dressed down,
but still somewhat cute in hightops and Umbro
Shopping on a sunny afternoon
What the hell, he’s no oil painting
on guard, just down and wearing My shades
Maybe thought he could see the world differently through them
Got THEM back asap
He’s shit out of luck if he expected to see me with his wine skin strapped across my body
Like who uses them anymore

So we did the usual dance…
Me: yeah you haven’t called me.
Him: you haven’t called me?

Gee,
you’d think with all the “thinking about me” he’d have remembered to call
and considering he actually likes me and thinks I’m sweet and nice and one of a kind and a lady and solid,
and he’s not used to that ...blah blah
you'd think he would not want to treat me like I was unimportant
Discussing me with his brother?? Huh?
Yeah my ears were ringing, instead of my phone

OK standoffs back on

The truth is…
I hate standoffs
And falling outs
And appearing coolly together when I’m falling apart
And mostly
I hate hating him

The Great Rack and Role Swindle

So you meet a “hot” blonde with big boobs!!
Well, you saw her......
from a distance - yelling from her car window for your number!!!
(Ha Ha - made you look!)
That’s ballsy
Independent
No Girlish games here
A real go-getter
She calls you for a date

you find out
She’s older
very outgoing and friendly,
vibrant,
has opinions,
she has a job, and loads of friends,
family,
interests,
even a band,
A Life.

She must have her act together.

So

You get together
You sleep together
she just sticks around till you are “Together”
oops.... you’re living together...?

She’s been waiting for You.

Waiting to move from her parents and get a place with you.
Doesn’t even matter where,
(No Beaches I ain't moving no where else mentality/backbone there)
Where ever your laying down roots, she'll take root there.....

She’s been biding her time with a “life” till something better came along….
"Your life"

her interests are of no interest to her anymore
she’s Interested in You
Friends…who needs them when you’re around
and when your not….she can pass the time contentedly
knowing she’ll see you soon
her opinions she’ll keep to herself
or change them to suit yours
wouldn’t want to annoy you
that cleavage that got your attention
is covered....so you won't call her a whore
she’ll skip work to spend more time with you
Hell, she’d quit work for that

She will stop at nothing to have you
She will give up everything to be with you
She will put up with anything to keep you

She does have her "act" together after all.